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“When my eyes were opened to his real character—Oh!had I known what I ought,what I dared to do!But I knew not—I was afraid of dog too much.Wretched,wretched mistake!”
Darcy made no answer.He seemed scarcely to hear her,and was walkg up and down the room earnest meditation,his brow contracted,his air gloomy.Elizabeth soon observed,and stantly understood it.Her power was skg;everythg must sk under such a proof of family weakness,such an assurance of the deepest disgrace.She could neither wonder nor condemn,but the belief of his self-conquest brought nothg consolatory to her bosom, afforded no palliation of her distress. It was, on the contrary, exactly calculated to make her understand her own wishes; and never had she so honestly felt that she could have loved him,as now,when all love must be va.
But self, though it would trude, could not engross her. Lydia—the humiliation,the misery she was brgg on them all, soon swallowed up every private care;and coverg her face with her handkerchief,Elizabeth was soon lost to everythg else;and, after a pause of several mutes,was only recalled to a sense of her situation by the voice of her companion,who, a manner which, though it spoke compassion,spoke likewise restrat,said,
“I am afraid you have been long desirg my absence,nor have I anythg to plead excuse of my stay,but real,though unavailg concern.Would to Heaven that anythg could be either said or done on my part that might offer consolation to such distress! But I will not torment you with va wishes, which may seem purposely to ask for your thanks.This unfortunate affair will, I fear, prevent my sister''s havg the pleasure of seeg you at Pemberley to-day.”
“Oh,yes.Be so kd as to apologise for us to Miss Darcy.Say that urgent busess calls us home immediately. Conceal the unhappy truth as long as it is possible,I know it cannot be long.”
He readily assured her of his secrecy;aga expressed his sorrow for her distress, wished it a happier conclusion than there was at present reason to hope, and leavg his compliments for her relations,with only one serious,partg look,went away.
As he quitted the room,Elizabeth felt how improbable it was that they should ever see each other aga on such terms of cordiality as had marked their several meetgs Derbyshire;and as she threw a retrospective glance over the whole of their acquatance, so full of contradictions and varieties, sighed at the perverseness of those feelgs which would now have promoted its contuance,and would formerly have rejoiced its termation.
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