第74章

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“I had not been long Hertfordshire,before I saw, common with others,that Bgley preferred your elder sister to any other young woman the country.But it was not till the eveng of the dance at Netherfield that I had any apprehension of his feelg a serious attachment. I had often seen him love before.At that ball,while I had the honour of dancg with you,I was first made acquated,by Sir William Lucas''s accidental formation, that Bgley''s attentions to your sister had given rise to a general expectation of their marriage.He spoke of it as a certa event, of which the time alone could be undecided.From that moment I observed my friend''s behaviour attentively; and I could then perceive that his partiality for Miss Bennet was beyond what I had ever witnessed him.Your sister I also watched. Her look and manners were open, cheerful, and engagg as ever, but without any symptom of peculiar regard, and I remaed convced from the eveng''s scruty,that though she received his attentions with pleasure, she did not vite them by any participation of sentiment.If you have not been mistaken here,I must have been error.Your superior knowledge of your sister must make the latter probable.If it be so,if I have been misled by such error to flict pa on her, your resentment has not been unreasonable. But I shall not scruple to assert, that the serenity of your sister''s countenance and air was such as might have given the most acute observer a conviction that, however amiable her temper,her heart was not likely to be easily touched. That I was desirous of believg her different is certa—but I will venture to say that my vestigation and decisions are not usually fluenced by my hopes or fears. I did not believe her to be different because I wished it; I believed it on impartial conviction,as truly as I wished it reason.My objections to the marriage were not merely those which I last night acknowledged to have the utmost required force of passion to put aside, my own case;the want of connection could not be so great an evil to my friend as to me.But there were other causes of repugnance;causes which,though still existg,and existg to an equal degree both stances, I had myself endeavoured to forget, because they were not immediately before me.These causes must be stated, though briefly.The situation of your mother''s family, though objectionable, was nothg comparison to that total want of propriety so frequently,so almost uniformly betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father. Pardon me. It pas me to offend you. But amidst your concern for the defects of your nearest relations, and your displeasure at this representation of them, let it give you consolation to consider that,to have conducted yourselves so as to avoid any share of the like censure,is praise no less generally bestowed on you and your elder sister, than it is honourable to the sense and disposition of both. I will only say farther that from what passed that eveng, my opion of all parties was confirmed, and every ducement heightened which could have led me before, to preserve my friend from what I esteemed a most unhappy connection. He left Netherfield for London, on the day followg,as you,I am certa,remember,with the design of soon returng.

“The part which I acted is now to be explaed. His sisters'' uneasess had been equally excited with my own;our cocidence of feelg was soon discovered, and, alike sensible that no time was to be lost detachg their brother,we shortly resolved on jog him directly London.We accordgly went—and there I readily engaged the office of potg out to my friend the certa evils of such a choice. I described, and enforced them earnestly.But,however this remonstrance might have staggered or delayed his determation, I do not suppose that it would ultimately have prevented the marriage,had it not been seconded by the assurance that I hesitated not givg, of your sister''s difference.He had before believed her to return his affection with scere, if not with equal regard. But Bgley has great natural modesty, with a stronger dependence on my judgement than on his own.To convce him,therefore,that he had deceived himself, was no very difficult pot.To persuade him agast returng to Hertfordshire, when that conviction had been given,was scarcely the work of a moment.I cannot blame myself for havg done thus much.There is but one part of my conduct the whole affair on which I do not reflect with satisfaction;it is that I condescended to adopt the measures of art so far as to conceal from him your sister''s beg town. I knew it myself, as it was known to Miss Bgley; but her brother is even yet ignorant of it.That they might have met without ill consequence is perhaps probable;but his regard did not appear to me enough extguished for him to see her without some danger.Perhaps this concealment,this disguise was beneath me;it is done,however, and it was done for the best.On this subject I have nothg more to say,no other apology to offer.If I have wounded your sister''s feelgs,it was unknowgly done and though the motives which governed me may to you very naturally appear sufficient,I have not yet learnt to condemn them.

“With respect to that other,more weighty accusation,of havg jured Mr.Wickham, I can only refute it by layg before you the whole of his connection with my family. Of what he has particularly accused me I am ignorant;but of the truth of what I shall relate,I can summon more than one witness of undoubted veracity.